Artie holds up the watch and presses the button, sending time spiraling backward through the past 48 hours. He turns to Mrs. Frederic and says, “We need to bring in our eminent director emeritus.”
Mrs. Frederic starts to protest until she sees the watch in his hand. “I see. I will call her eminence.”
“Don’t send Steve in,” Artie says.
Claudia and Myka look up questioningly at the two.
“Too many people died last time,” Artie says, holding up the watch. “We only have one more chance at this.”
Mrs. Frederic picks up the Farnsworth and hits a blue button hidden on the side. “Your Eminence…you’re needed at the Warehouse…indeed…thank you.” She hangs up after a bit of an earful and turns with a smile. “Her eminence is on the way.”
Artie nods.
“Who?” Claudia asks.
“Her eminent director emeritus, the director in charge of the regents and the whole Warehouse system,” Mrs. Frederic says.
“Great, another bureaucratic person,” Claudia mumbles.
Jane enters. “Actually, her eminence is far from being bureaucratic,” she says with a chuckle. “In fact, that’s the last word I’d use to describe her.”
Mrs. Frederic nods with a smile. “Indeed. You’ll meet her soon enough and see what we’re talking about.”
Claudia just looks to Myka who shrugs.
“We need to get Jinks back here, now,” Artie says to Irene.
Irene nods and makes another phone call.
****
Steve arrives at the Warehouse and talks to Irene in private.
Artie and Claudia are standing outside waiting.
“Who is this eminence chick?” Claudia asks.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” he says with a chuckle. “I have a feeling she’ll like you a lot.”
Claudia eyes Artie. “O-kay.”
A small trail of dust kicks up in the distance to a motorbike with a sidecar. A mysterious woman (looks to be around 20) dressed a bit like a steampunk enthusiast (she is wearing brown leather boots, a pair of blue jeans, a white button down shirt, a reddish-brown leather vest with brass buttons and a pocket, a short deep brown leather jacket, and a pilot’s style helmet with purple-y goggles) pulls up in front of them. She stops the motor, pushes her goggles on top of the helmet, and steps from the bike, grabbing a satchel and her purse. She turns to Artie and (in a crisp British accent) says, “Hello, again, Arthur.”
Artie hugs her.
She hugs back, grinning. “And you must be Claudia,” she says, moving to hug the girl.
Claudia hugs her back, awkward. “Um…hi?”
The woman giggles. “I am her eminence, director emeritus. You may call me Emma.”
“Is that short for eminence?” Claudia asks.
“No,” the woman laughs. “It’s my name.” She winks and heads for the door. “Did you adjust the purple goo dispensers for my arrival, Arthur?”
He nods. “I would never forget.”
She grins and follows him inside, Claudia right behind.
“This is confusing,” Claudia mumbles.
“I’ll explain myself soon,” Emma says.
“O-kay,” Claudia says, following her through the tunnel and into the main office.
Irene greets Emma as she moves inside. “Your eminence,” she says, hugging her.
“I hate titles,” Emma says with a grin.
“Who are you?” Pete asks.
“This is her eminent director emeritus, Emma,” Artie says.
Emma waves off the title. “Just call me Emma,” she says, turning to everyone. “Pete, Myka, Jinks, Artie, Claudia, Jane, Irene, and Trailer.” She bends down and scratches the dog behind the ears.
Trailer wags his butt.
“I’m beyond confused,” Jinks says. “Even after your explanation, Mrs. Frederic.”
Irene smiles. “Meet Emma,” she says.
Emma stands. “I am an artifact. My grandmother put a set of fake vampire teeth in her mouth and sent our family into an odd spiral. Since that day, any inheritor of the artifact is her eminence.”
“So that title hasn’t been around long?” Pete asks.
“It has been around since just after my grandmother used the teeth in 1402. She was 14 at the time and lived just outside of London,” Emma says, sitting on the edge of the desk.
Myka gapes and shakes her head. “1402?”
“I’ll explain a bit. My mother was born in 1538. And, I was born in 1624 in London,” Emma says. “The artifact ages us super slowly after about age 18, until a daughter inherits the artifact. I’ve calculated it at about two days of aging per year. It can choose which daughter to give it to. I had three older sisters. And, I’ve had two daughters and three sons, who’ve all married and had kids, who’ve had kids.”
“When did you marry?” Myka asks.
“Who did you marry?” Pete asks.
Artie grins. “Now, that is a good story, and an odd marriage.”
“I married in December of 1857. It was an odd courtship and an even odder marriage,” Emma says with a smile. “Claudia, you’ll appreciate what I’m about to say.” Emma looks at the youngest of agents.
Claudia looks up at her. “O-kay.”
“My full name is Emma Dalia Tesla,” she says. “Married to Nikola Tesla…”
Artie interrupts, “And she is the modernizer of the Warehouse system and, in fact, creator of Warehouse 13.”
She smiles at Artie.
“Tesla?! The Tesla?” Claudia nearly chokes.
Emma giggles. “I was his best kept secret, his woman behind the man.”
Myka shakes her head. “I thought he didn’t like women.”
“He was handsome. He didn’t like the attention,” Emma explains. “He saw me at a science exposition. He was introducing some new idea that he hadn’t fully developed, yet. I asked him intelligent questions for about an hour and turned him down for dinner.”
Claudia laughs.
Artie nods. “I couldn’t believe it when she told me the first time.”
“I was much older than he was, although I only looked about 19 at the time,” she says. “He was quite taken with me. I wasn’t so sure about him.”
Myka grins. “I can just imagine him trying to get your number today.”
“He kept pursuing me until I finally gave in and agreed to one dinner date,” she says. “As it was, we ended up in his lab tinkering with his very first Tesla coil. I helped him figure out he had it wired wrong.”
Claudia says, “That is so much cooler than an artifact, I think.”
“Depends on the artifact,” Emma says with a wink.
“What changed your mind about him?” Pete asks.
“He liked me for my mind,” she says. “He felt too many women didn’t look after themselves fully, body, mind, and soul. He felt I was a complete woman.”
Pete nods. “So he married you?”
“It took him a couple years to convince me, but yes, he did,” she says. “I had to tell him about the not-aging thing, of course. He was fine with that, even though I was over 200 years old already.”
“And you had kids?” Jinks asks.
“Two daughters and three sons bearing the name Tesla, yes,” she says. “Our first was a girl, Amelia, but it was obvious from the moment she started teething she didn’t have the artifact. Then came twin boys, Thomas and Nicola the second. Then another girl, Emmaline, who was also not the inheritor of the artifact. And, finally, another boy, Henry. Nikola started aging, while I didn’t.”
“Rumor has it he’s still alive,” Artie says.
“If he is, he is still married to me,” she says with a grin.
“You didn’t live with him until the end?” Claudia asks.
“No,” she says with a sigh. “He made me leave with a promise to find love again and forget about him.”
“Tragic romance?” Jinks says.
“Not really,” she says. “It was inevitable the day would come where I would have to leave and move on. I couldn’t stay married to him if we never had another girl who inherited the artifact. He knew this. He released me.” She sighs.
“It’s still cool,” Claudia says. “You being Mrs. Tesla and all.”
Emma smiles at her.
“There’s something cooler, but I doubt she’ll tell you,” Artie says, cryptically.
“What could be cooler than being Mrs. Tesla, the artifact that’s lived hundreds of years and helped modernize the Warehouse and create Warehouse 13?” Pete asks.
“Being Mrs. Tesla, the inventor of the Tesla gun and grenade, modified from one of my husband’s attempts at a mini-Tesla coil,” Emma says.
“I’m surprised you told us,” Artie says. “It took me two years to get that out of you.”
Claudia gapes.
“Maybe, I’m getting soft in my old age.” Emma shrugs and looks at Claudia. “It’s not awkward; it’s cool.”
Claudia makes noises in her throat like she’s trying to say something then stops and turns to the computer.
Myka chuckles. “So, what brings you here?”
“Artie,” Emma says.
Artie nods. “I’ve rewound time for 48 hours,” he says, holding up the watch. “We’re doing things differently this time, according to Emma.”
Emma nods. “First of all, we need to secure Emily Lake. Myka and Pete, you will go to her and give her this story: you are part of witness protection and a mob hit has been placed on her for no apparent reason, other than she looks like someone who was already in witness protection.” Emma hands them U.S. Marshal badges.
“Sweet,” Pete says, looking at his.
“Claudia and Irene will watch over the inn, Marcus is on his way. Irene, make sure you have the metronome with you to stop him.”
Irene nods and holds it up.
“He’s already dead, so don’t feel guilty,” Emma tells her and turns to Claudia. “Your job is to keep him from hurting Leena, although, she can handle herself if she needs to.”
Claudia nods.
“Artie and Jane, you will watch over the Warehouse itself,” Emma says. “I need you here and safe. Myka and Pete will bring Emily Lake here, to the Warehouse. I know it’s risky, but it’s a risk worth taking. I’ll need to get to Sykes.”
“He might kill you,” Myka says.
“He can try,” Emma says. “But, I really can’t die until I’ve passed on the artifact, unless it’s via purple goo.”
Claudia looks at her questioningly.
“I am an artifact, right?”
Claudia nods.
“Purple goo subdues artifacts, right?”
“Ewww,” Claudia says.
“I bet I’d end up as ashes with the artifact resting on top of my remains,” Emma says with a shrug. “I’d rather not find out, though.”
“Ditto,” Jane says. “Anything else we can do?”
“I have some different toys for you,” Emma says and moves to the satchel. From it, she pulls out a sniper-style Tesla rifle.
“How did that fit?” Claudia asks.
Emma grins. “Artifact satchel.”
“My life is awesome,” Claudia says. “Just thought I’d share that.”
Everyone chuckles.
Emma grins. “This is a Tesla rifle, not like the ones you already have, though. This one releases the energy, which is quickly gathered into a bullet-like form. When it hits the target, it releases the energy and subdues the target. Plus, it can be fired from distances of up to 500 meters…approximately 1640 feet. I have one for each team.”
“What about me?” Jinks asks.
“I need you here with Artie and Jane, watching over the Warehouse,” Emma says, pulling out more rifles and handing them to Claudia, Myka, and Artie.
“Is that bag bottomless?” Claudia asks her.
“Pretty much, and it never gets heavy,” Emma says.
“I so want one,” Claudia says.
“I’d be happy to get you one, if the repercussions on an actual human carrying one weren’t bad,” Emma says. “I’m an artifact. Artifacts don’t typically care if another artifact uses it, unless they’re volatile.”
“Noted,” Claudia says, stepping back from it.
Emma smiles. “Now, I must head off to convince Sykes I’m on his team.”
Artie salutes her as she heads back out the door.
“What just happened?” Pete asks.
“You met Emma,” Irene says. “When Emma’s around, you typically get your orders and end up a tad bit confused. It’s normal to feel that way.”
“Who is Emily Lake?”
Emma pops back in and grabs her satchel. “H.G. Wells,” she says. “Only she doesn’t remember. So, don’t make a big deal about it. Trailer,” she turns to the dog, “be nice to her cat.”
Trailer woofs.
Emma pets him fondly and pulls a doggie treat from her bag, giving it to him before disappearing with a wave.
“She spoils the dog,” Artie says.
“Some things never change,” Irene says.
****
Emma sits at a bar, waiting.
Marcus appears and buys her a drink.
“You’re really not my type,” she says in her British accent. “But, thank you for the drink.”
He chuckles. “I’m not hitting on you.”
“Oh?” She turns her brown eyes on him questioningly.
“I heard through a certain grapevine that you’ve been burned, figuratively, by the Warehouse network,” he says, sitting closer.
She looks at him. “I’m not supposed to know what you’re talking about.”
He grins. “But, you do. And you were, right?”
She nods quickly and shortly.
“I represent a man who is interested in your skill set,” he says.
“Go on,” she says, turning to her drink and watching him through her peripheral vision.
He smiles and turns to his own drink. “We need your help in procuring an item.”
“An artifact item?” She asks.
He nods and turns to her. “Interested?”
She ponders for a moment before turning to him and nodding. “I’m in.”
He grins, settles the bill, and motions for her to follow.
She downs the rest of her drink and follows him out, purse and satchel in hand.
****
Emma walks into Sykes’ office and stands in front of his desk.
“Hmm,” he says. “You aren’t the one we were after.”
She eyes him. “You weren’t after someone who got burned by the Warehouse and left to rot in the real world?”
He grins. “Yes, we were.”
“So, why not me?” She asks, looking him in the eyes.
His grin deepens. “I think you’ll do just fine.”
She grins back at him.
“Are you afraid of killing people?” He asks her.
“I’ve already killed men, and women, for that matter,” she says. “I have a body count higher than you’d probably think.”
He smiles. “Good. Then go with Marcus.”
She nods and heads for the door.
“You didn’t ask the question,” he says, stopping her.
“What question?” She asks, turning to him.
“What’s in it for you?” He says.
She smiles. “I already know what’s in it for me…revenge on those stupid jackasses who run the Warehouse.”
He grins at her. “I like you. Get to work.”
She nods and follows Marcus out the door and down to the car.
“We’re to get Emily Lake from this address,” he says, handing her a piece of paper.
“Okay,” she says.
“You need a firearm,” he says.
She pats her satchel. “Who says I don’t already have one.”
He grins at her and holds open the passenger door for her to step inside the car. She does so and lets him drive to the address. She makes note of Myka’s and Pete’s car.
“Are they here?” He asks.
She nods. “I think that’s their car, nondescript black thing.”
He nods and follows her inside.
She pulls a Tesla gun from her purse.
“What is that?”
“A stun gun,” she says. “If I set it right, it will kill.”
He grins and follows her up the stairs.
Pete and Myka spy her and push Emily Lake toward the roof.
Emma reaches the apartment and finds no one inside, including the cat. “They’re gone.”
“They can’t have gone far,” he says and heads back outside. “You go down. I’ll go up.”
Emma nods and heads back down the stairs.
Myka and Pete end up in the parking garage area, near the fire escape.
Emma motions them into hiding with Emily, before Emily sees her.
“The car is still here,” Marcus says.
Emma nods. “Which means so are they. I already looked over there.”
Marcus nods and heads down an aisle.
Emma heads down the opposite way as Myka, Pete, and Emily head toward the exit.
The three plus the cat make a break for it.
“There,” Marcus calls.
Emma curses and runs toward the exit, Tesla drawn.
Pete, Myka, and Emily make a run for the car and duck down behind it.
Marcus motions Emma to circle back around and come at them from behind.
Emma does so, zapping them with the Tesla and grabbing Emily.
Marcus loads Emily up.
Emma takes a moment to check pulses and secretly place a Tesla patch (that will undo the effects of a Tesla gun) on each of the agent’s necks. She discreetly lures the cat beneath the car with some food. She leaves a note for them and heads back to the car, keeping her Tesla drawn on Emily.
Marcus heads back to the hangar, ties up Emily, and has Emma keep the Tesla trained on her.
Sykes questions Emily, but gets nowhere.
“She doesn’t know who she is,” Emma says.
“You can tell when someone is lying?” He asks.
“No,” Emma says. “But I can tell when someone is scared. And, she is very scared.”
Sykes nods and realizes what he needs as Tyler comes out to tell him what he found.
“Can you get the Janus coin?” Sykes asks Emma.
Emma nods. “The agents will be retrieving it and taking it to the Warehouse for destruction, would be my guess.”
Marcus motions her along. Emma follows and watches as Pete, Myka, and Claudia pull off into the woods.
Emma tries not to show confusion, but gets out and watches as Marcus grabs a whip and begins to control Pete.
After a few moments of weirdness, Emma chases Claudia down and fires her Tesla into a rock, taking the coin from Claudia and passing on the hangar info.
Claudia grins and watches her go, counting to fifty.
Emma finds Myka and Pete unconscious.
“Will she be following?” Marcus asks her, holding her door open for her.
“Hardly,” Emma says. “Although, I do want her to deliver Sykes’ message back to the Warehouse, so I couldn’t kill the little twit.”
Marcus chuckles and drives off.
****
Myka, Pete, and Claudia enter the hangar and rush the steps, realizing they’re too late.
Emma sits in a chair, glassy-eyed and unmoving.
Claudia backs up. “I thought she couldn’t die.”
Myka gasps.
Emma groans, the color slowly coming back to her face. She shakes off the feeling, grabs an empty trashcan, and vomits the heart attack drugs into the bin.
“Emma,” Claudia says and smiles.
Emma wipes her mouth, grabs a water from her purse, and sips it. “I hate dying. It isn’t fun. And, it’s never final.”
Pete chuckles. “What now?”
“They burned the laptop,” Emma says. “But, I got the information we need. We need to get to the regent vault in China. Pete and Myka, you two head back with Claudia. I’ll head to China. Pete, Myka, I need you keeping an eye on the Warehouse. Claudia, I need you guarding the inn with every bit of your spunk and cleverness.”
Claudia nods and smiles at her.
****
Emma arrives at the restaurant in China and heads down the employee stairs, drawing a Tesla from her bag. She heads down into the chamber and peeks around the corner at H.G. with a gun being controlled by the whip and Tyler strapped in the death chair. Emma fires a shot at the wall.
“Who’s there?” Sykes asks.
Emma remains quiet.
Sykes has H.G. point the gun toward the door and fire.
Emma shakes her head at the passing bullet. “It’s going to take a lot more than a bullet to bring me down, Sykes.”
Sykes gapes momentarily. “It can’t be.”
Emma steps around the corner and holds her Tesla on him. “But it is.”
He has H.G. fire again, this time hitting Emma in the chest.
The bullet pops out, and Emma rights herself. “Would you kindly stop that?”
Sykes backs up in his wheelchair.
Emma moves to the chess game and points to the pawn.
H.G. thinks a moment and instructs Tyler to move the pawn in an illegal way.
Tyler does so after freaking for a moment.
Emma stuns him into silence and grabs the whip from Sykes. “It’s over,” she says to him, removing the bomb from his chair. She carefully removes the cover, puts on cloth purple gloves, and takes out the explosive chunk of rock. She hands H.G. a large purple fuzz-lined bag and drops the rock inside. It sparks. She then defuses the rest of the bomb successfully.
The portal activates.
Sykes tries to escape, but Emma won’t let him, disabling his wheelchair, so he can’t use it through his remote. She smiles and wheels him toward the Warehouse.
Artie takes over for her as Pete and Emma move to get Tyler.
H.G. follows them inside.
“If you behave,” Emma tells her. “You won’t have to become Emily Lake, again.”
H.G. nods. “Thank you, Emma.”
Emma smiles at her and heads inside the Warehouse.
Tyler and Sykes are hauled off to the bronzer to be immortalized.
****
Once back at the inn, Emma hugs Leena tightly.
Leena giggles and hugs her back. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
Emma smiles. “How could I not see my great-great-granddaughter?”
Leena grins.
Claudia stares.
“Yes, Leena and I are blood-relatives,” Emma says.
Claudia shakes her head. “I’m still not believing this.”
Emma hugs her. “It’s all right. I evoke that feeling in many.”
Claudia chuckles. “Understatement.”
Leena recounts what happened at the inn and how Trailer saved the day by barking enough to distract Marcus before he could inject Claudia with the heart attack juice so Irene could stop the metronome. Emma gives Trailer a bacon treat from her satchel, which he promptly accepts and begins chewing.
Emma laughs and moves to the door.
“You’re leaving?” Claudia asks her.
“I can’t move here unless I get my things,” Emma says with a wink.
Claudia grins. “Good.”
Jinks looks at her. “Am I reinstated, then?”
“You were never uninstated,” Emma says. “Not that that’s really a word, but you know what I mean.”
He chuckles.
“Wait, so you’re coming back on duty?” Artie asks her.
“I was never off duty,” she says and turns to Jane. “Tell your son everything.”
Jane nods. “Thank you.” She and Pete move off to walk in the garden.
Irene turns to the ashes of Marcus on the floor.
“Vacuum them up, spread them over the water, bury them in the yard,” Emma says, waving a hand. “I really could care less what you do with him.”
Irene nods and moves to find the vacuum.
Myka turns to Emma. “You really are something, y’know?”
Emma grins. “Of course, I know. Anyone who works at the Warehouse is something.”
Myka shakes her head.
Claudia grins.
Emma winks at the girls, pulls down her goggles, and heads toward her motorbike.
Artie and the two women watch her go.
Jinks steps up behind them and waves to the trail of dust. “She is something else.”
Artie smiles. “You don’t know the half of it.”
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